Real Students of Genius
Orange & Blue realizes some students go unrecognized each day, and it's time we showed them some appreciation.
By Scott Shapiro, Joe Alewine, Jill Umiker
Today we salute YOU, Mr. Stadium Drink Seller
Chorus: Mr. Stadium Drink Seller
Without YOU, we might be stuck 88 rows up in the Swamp with nothing to drink except that lukewarm bag of rum hidden in our shorts.
I'm so high now!
With 36 sodas strapped to your chest, you effortlessly hike up and down the stairs chanting, "Coke! Diet Coke!"
Love that splash of soda!
You prove that when the Gators are getting slaughtered the only way to cool down the fans is with a $3, watered-down soda.
Cool me down now!
So take a bow, you Sultan of Soda, because without you we might have to miss the Pride of the Sunshine State at halftime, and that would be a damn shame.
Mr. Stadium Drink Seller!
Today we salute YOU, Mr. White Guy Who Can't Dance to Salsa
Chorus: Mr. White Guy Who Can't Dance to Salsa!
Only YOU know what it means to flail about like a deranged hedgehog and still woo the ladies.
Gonna groove now!
You don't care about rhythm. Your body is a love machine, and your sweat the glow of sweet love.
Chupa leche del pene!
When others cowered in the corner and sipped their drinks, you dared to wiggle that goofy ass from here to eternity.
Gonna get you laid, now!
So the next time somebody tells you salsa music is only for those who can actually dance, you can say, "No me jodas, pendejo!"
Today we salute YOU, Mr. Doesn't Realize There's a Bike Lane Biker
Chorus: Mr. Doesn't Realize There's a Bike Lane Biker!
Mounted on your Huffy, you skillfully weave through people, cars and the occasional dog.
Check out my weave now!
Sure, you might hit a few, but what were they doing on the sidewalk anyway?
Out of my way!
University Avenue? Turlington Plaza? I'm sure we'll see you there. Ride that bike!
Bike lane? You don't need no stinking bike lane!
So give yourself a hand, Warrior on Wheels, because without you, walking on the sidewalk might actually be safe.
Mr. Doesn't Realize There's a Bike Lane Biker!
Today we salute YOU, Mr. Football Game Wave Starter
Chorus: Mr. Football Game Wave Starter!
If you learned anything in college, it was how to start a good wave.
Standing proud now!
You put your own spin on the wave cue. 1, 2, 3...WOO?
3, 2, 1 ...GO? We'll follow you lead.
Making them squeal!
Even though your team is down by 21 with 30 seconds left, we still hear your distant cry.
Never giving up!
So pat yourself on the back, Wizard of the Wave, because without you, we might just have to watch the game.
Mr. Football Game Wave Starter!