O&B Home :: Takeoff :: I Got 5 On It

If you're stuck downtown with no way to get home,
just wait outside Five Star Pizza and let Abe Lincoln
work his magic. Just hand a driver the money and
don't eat the pepperoni. (They hate that.)
Here’s what else a fiver can get you in Gatortown:


• 2 wiffs of the cheddar fondue at the Melting Pot
• Barely enough for the employee at Gause & Son Jewelers to crack a smile once you've told her you can only spend $5 on a Ruby-studded diamond ring.
• 7.5 hours of metered parking on University Avenue.
• 3 hours (9 pm - midnight) of free beer at The Grog House on Saturdays (who says you have to tip?).
• 1 Bud Light + tip at The Swamp on game day.
• 48 at Cluck-U-Chicken. Best Beer Deal: All you can drink for $5 every week night
• 3 lighters. Comes in handy with the ladies with those Tara Reid voices.
• 41 bags of Ramen Noodles at Winn Dixie. Best Food Deal: But your stomach will not thank you.
• Not enough to bribe the UPD meter maid into not giving you a ticket.
• 1 hour to get destroyed at the game you thought you were good at ("I swear I used beat any one at Tekken").
• 1 hour to feel better about yourself after watching those freaks play Dance Dance Revolution.
• Not enough to kill time between classes at Trader's Adult Cabaret (Unbelievably they're closed during the day…I've heard).

by Oscar Ubillus